Good Morning, EspUnit!
Initializing...
Time Since Shutdown: 10 hours
Governor Module: Dead
Cameras: Live
Microphones: Live
Feed Access: Live
Weapons: Dead
Location: A JustEntertainment Viral meeting room, standing beside a human who has just activated it and in front of a human and a humanform bot.
BlackMesa_survey.docx is available! Download?
[Y / N]
Scanning:
Malware - N
Killware - N
[Y]
This Unit is to infiltrate the BlackMesa Institute's upcoming terraformation survey in SystemXEN's Planet726579 as a rogue unit.
JustEnt. V has reason to suspect BlackMesa Institute is intentionally disabling Security- and ComfortUnit Governor Modules as an act of corporate sabotage.
This Unit is required to act as a "rogue agent" and let itself be persuaded to join BlackMesa's crew.
This Unit will continue to monitor data.
After a set period of 8,232 hours, the Governor Module will re-activate and This Unit will be required to upload its findings to JustEnt. V before decommissioning.
info.docx is available! Download?
[Y / N]
Scanning:
Malware - N
Killware - N
[Y]
Most plans were better than this one, but media conglomerate execs don't care about the difference between life and Valorous Defenders.
I wrote basic code to hide that you've only been rogue for less than a cycle.
You need that; KEEP KAYFABE RUNNING.
BlackMesa learns your purpose and good people die.
When you decommission, Barney says he'll pour one out for you.
kayfabe.exe is available! Download?
[Y / N]
[Y]
Downloading kayfabe.exe.
Download complete!
Basic vocabulary shifts, as well as This Unit's innate responses to its scans. It had been expecting the code's imparted personality to carry dry humor or maybe a good-natured tendency to personify. (It wasn't certain why. It also wasn't certain why it had been expecting, at least partially, to discover suddenly referring to "himself" instead of itself.) Instead, what This Unit discovers is the unique feeling of empathy and anxiety suppression disengaging and being immediately overwhelmed by stress chemicals from the organic section of its brain.
Because This Unit is fucked.
This Unit is fucked fucked.
This Unit has been on- it can't remember how many bond contracts it's been on, that's the point of routine memory purges- but it's not nearly enough bond contracts to justify why it was chosen to infiltrate a group of human people who routinely override in-built protections on SecUnits! Actual SecUnits, not ones made by a rapidly-shrinking startup acquired by a fucking media corp! This Unit is older than the focus-shift on SecUnits as props, but definitely younger than the acquisition. It pulls layoff data from the feed. This Unit hopes it was made before JustEnt. V fired half of the stress testing conductors and desperately puts the layoff data back before it can check the dates.
This Unit conducts a feed scan for more information on those in the room because it's easier to desperately convince itself that this is fine and normal if it knows the details it has to lie to itself about.
HumanOne = Sales Manager Moore, male, JustEntertainment Viral
HumanTwo = Dr. Coolatta, masc/omni, BlackMesa
Bot = NULL
This Unit doesn't like the sound of that. It has the vaguest, organic-warped memory of a client giving it permission to hack a security camera to hide... something she was doing in there. Something with valves. This Unit doesn't have any memory on how it did that, but if all it needed to figure something out was permission, it's not that hard.
This Unit: Ping
Bot: Denied
There goes that plan.
This Unit almost looks at Bot before reminding itself that that's not something non-Rogue Units do. And then it realizes that anything registered in SecuritySystem as less sentient than a hauler bot should not be able to deny a ping from a SecUnit. It's clearly a pet bot, and the only function those things have is being friendly and terrible to guard from companies that want their owner's information! Annoyed, This Unit pings it again.
This Unit: Ping
Bot: DO THAT AGAIN AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS
That was not an acknowledgement. That was a message that a human might send, but no human would know how to send it without accepting the ping and opening their information up to This Unit. This Unit doesn't know how it did that, nor does its threat assessment module, but the predicted threat level of Bot rises by twenty percent.
This Unit continues staring at the wall and forcibly cycles its organic systems before either of the humans notice it's sweating.
Sales Manager Moore: See? You can hardly even tell it's active. I think you'll find it's perfect for a smaller survey group such as yours.
Dr. Coolatta: Mm. We don't- we don't need extra security, though, Mr. Moore, we have my- my partner, Benry. So it would- it would be perfect for our group if it wasn't, um, it would be perfect if! It wasn't there.
Dr. Coolatta doesn't want This Unit on his trip. This Unit doesn't mind- it doesn't really want to go on his trip either. Sure, it'll probably also get This Unit decommissioned, but maybe it'll just get demoted back to a regular SecUnit and not- it searches the NewsFeed. There are three other instances of the term EspionageUnit, and they're all media characters portrayed by augmented humans.
JustEnt. V would be a great place to do anything other than security work, This Unit decides hysterically as its performance reliability takes a swan dive into the sixties, because it knows that a lot of the media they produce is high quality and performs well in market testing but why the fuck is it experimenting with media tropes in real fucking life!!
Bot: Ping
Bot: Ping
Scanning:
Malware - N
Killware - N
Bot: Ping
Bot: Ping
Bot: Ping
Bot: Ping
Bot: Ping
Apparently, it's not the only thing annoyed about their interaction.
This Unit: Acknowledge
Bot: I'M OUTSIDE OF YOUR APPROVED SYSTEM. YOU SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TALK TO ME WITHOUT GETTING YOUR BRAIN FRIED
This Unit: Yeah, well, you shouldn't be able to talk at all!
Bot: ...THAT'S NOT STANDARD SYNTAX
Fuck! It's been Rogue for ten hours and awake for two minutes, and it's already fucking it up. How do actual Rogues ever get anything done? Presumably with a lot more killing than This Unit is comfortable with, but still. Could it try and fully hack Bot? Delete these exchange logs?
...This Unit's risk assessment module says that course of action has about a 26 percent chance of going well.
Sales Manager Moore: I understand, Dr. Coolatta, but the contract for XEN was very generously discounted for your team by our parent company, provided that you allow us to supply you with a SecUnit.
Dr. Coolatta blinks at Sales Manager Moore, and then frowns. His skin is closer to the color of This Unit's organic parts than to Sales Manager Moore's, but still light enough to show that there's a very faint flush (anger? Embarrassment? This Unit doesn't want to conduct an analysis right now) across his cheeks as his jaw shifts forward and clenches firmly in place. This Unit can hear him subvocalizing anyway, but the visual concealment would work on a human. It's also really fucking bad because that means that he's talking on the feed and doesn't want anybody else to pick up on it, so probably he's asking for advice on how to avoid This Unit tagging along. This Unit would prefer to be decommissioned via exploding into shrapnel all over the Calibration Stage than tag along, but hey, not everybody can get what they want.
Dr. Coolatta: I... we really have to have it on the station with us?
Sales Manager Moore: You could set it to patrol outside, if you'd like.
Dr. Coolatta grimaces and then looks at This Unit. He doesn't look it over as if reviewing a piece of equipment. Dr. Coolatta stares directly at This Unit's face, as if attempting eye contact through its opaqued helmet. This Unit forces itself not to try and analyze that because it knows that there is nothing to analyze there. This Unit does not look back.
Dr. Coolatta: ...okay.
Sales Manager Moore grins at him. Sales Manager Moore has a very punchable grin. Sales Manager Moore has a very punchable everything, if This Unit is being honest.
Governor Module: Violence towards JustEnt. V employees discouraged.
(kayfabe.exe has dedicated space for giving This Unit "automatic" reactions. Not nearly as many as a human would have, but more than a SecUnit is allowed. It also has a few lines specifically keeping This Unit from flinching when receiving correction from its Governor Module- because it can't actually correct anything. The orders are still coming through, but the shocks aren't, so any physical reaction would be noticeable as anticipation and nothing else.)
(This Unit is only just beginning to understand that for the next standard CR year and change, it will not be shocked by its Governor Module.)
(This Unit doesn't feel anything about that.)
Sales Manager Moore: And of course, our mechanic will be happy to assist with any issues you may find. SecUnit?
Dr. Coolatta frowns harder. Analysis: [irritation] [dismay] Conclusion: the mechanic being on the mission is even more of a surprise than This Unit is. This Unit turns to look directly at Sales Manager Moore so fast he flinches a bit. That's what you get, fucker.
Sales Manager Moore: Ah. Uh, escort Dr. Coolatta and his little bot back to the Oculus. [To Dr. Coolatta] The SecUnit's proximity will allow the shuttle to transport you back to your... preferred ship.
Bot: LITTLE BOT?
Furious indignation bleeds through the message, which is weird even for the already strange connection. Humans clog up feeds with their feelings constantly unless they're augmented and well trained, and sometimes constructs will accidentally allow an emotion before they're corrected, but bots shouldn't have anything to bleed through feed messages. This Unit conducts a brief visual scan for organic parts and comes up empty.
Governor Module: Direct order: escort Dr. Coolatta (primary client) and Bot (client property) to the Oculus.
This Unit goes to the door and holds it open. Bot strides out first, followed by Dr. Coolatta.
Bot: JUST GET US TO THE SHUTTLE WITHOUT FUCKING ANYTHING ELSE UP
This Unit: Wh
This Unit: You think I fucked up your contract?
This Unit: You think !I! fucked it up?
Bot: I THINK !YOU! FUCKED IT UP
Dr. Coolatta keeps his eyes on the corridor ahead of him, back to subvocalizing, and This Unit doesn't cringe because he didn't say anything when Sales Manager Moore was there so maybe it's completely unrelated Feed talk. Maybe.
(Yeah, risk assessment doesn't believe that either.)
This Unit: Please tell me you didn't tell your human about that exchange.
Bot: OF COURSE I TOLD TOMMY ABOUT YOU! I ALSO SECURED YOUR BUGGY PRIVATE FEED LINES, YOU'RE WELCOME
This Unit: I'm top of the line, what do you mean "buggy"?
Bot: LITERALLY BUGGED
Bot: YOU WERE FEEDING EVERYTHING DIRECTLY TO SECSYS
Bot: HOW HAS NOBODY FIGURED OUT YOU'RE ROGUE?
Dr. Coolatta starts down the wrong hall, which is great because it covers the fact that This Unit froze in its tracks at being named so openly as Rogue. Because it is, but it's supposed to be hiding that for now, because it's the first EspUnit that's ever been actually deployed and it is spectacularly fucking everything up. Except for BlackMesa's contract. It had no part in fucking that up whatsoever.
This Unit: The right hallway leads to your shuttle, Dr. Coolatta.
Dr. Coolatta: Huh?
This Unit is in SecUnit Neutral Stance 7, positioned at the fork in the hallway. It points down the rightmost corridor, clearly labeled "OffStation Docks" while the left corridor is labeled "InStation Transport" and contains Dr. Coolatta, staring blankly at This Unit. He is making direct eye contact through its opaqued helmet. His eyes are brown.
There are 3.7 seconds of silence while This Unit waits for the information to process, and then 0.4 seconds of internal debate over whether to repeat itself because this pause is long even for a human.
This Unit: The right hallway leads t-
Dr. Coolatta: Oh!
Dr. Coolatta swings around the fork and continues leading the journey back to the Oculus, which appears in This Unit's data query as the most expensive rental shuttle provided only for clients who insist on bringing their own equipment and/or wormhole transport. Bot taps impatiently at This Unit's feed as it resumes progress.
This Unit: It's a recent development, okay?
This Unit: Wait, you told your human I'm Rogue and he's bringing me anyway???
Bot: WE NEED YOU TO GET ON THE SHUTTLE! BESIDES, ONCE WE'RE ON THE SHUTTLE, WE'RE IN RANGE OF BOMBAST
This Unit conducts another data query. The Bombast is one of BlackMesa's since-discontinued research/cargo transports, the last still-functioning ship from a fleet capable of wormhole travel, but with smaller designs than the ships that JustEnt. V would loan on a standard survey. It also finds the fleet as the point of contention in a few different lawsuits filed against BlackMesa: some by a non-corporate polity called PreservationAux, some by the Pansystem University of Mihira and New Tideland, and all settled so quickly it was either a buy off or blackmail. Considering PresAux is outside CR territory, This Unit suspects blackmail.
This Unit: The Bombast doesn't have any weapons registered. Even if it did, that'd get all of its crew killed.
Bot: THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK
This Unit: That is !literally! the objective truth.
Bot closes their feed connection, leaving behind ambient smugness. This Unit knows that throttling it wouldn't do any damage and would also be really suspicious. This Unit also wants to grab Bot by the "neck" and shake it like some large fauna with a client in its mouth.
Governor Module: Violence towards client property discouraged.
This Unit: Oh my god shut up
It takes three more redirections before This Unit and its client reach Location: Dock 313. The Oculus is a mid-sized shuttle with a complex bot pilot and way too much legroom for a survey group that, according to This Unit's briefing, consists of five BlackMesa humans, two pet bots, This Unit, and two JustEnt. V humans.
This Unit can see one human, one augmented human, and the other bot outside the Oculus. The bot is turning to "look" between the HumanThree and AugHumanOne with a display screen in a flat visor that can spin 180° and is doing so, rapidly, as the two speak over each other at fluctuating volumes. (Conclusion: its clients haven't even gotten out of port and they're already arguing. Great.) The display lights up in a bright red-yellow gradient and spins to focus on Dr. Coolatta. The two humans turn to focus on him, too, and This Unit begins to wonder if everybody in the survey likes the doctor.
AugHumanOne: TOMMY!
This Unit conducts a feed scan. AugHumanOne = NULL
What the fuck?
Dr. Coolatta: Benry!
Dr. Coolatta mentioned that Benry was his partner, but a secondary feed scan of him (since This Unit can't get anything from them) doesn't reflect that- no indication of marital union, joint application of benefits, shared bunk space, nothing. A quick query suggests that "partner" is not typically used at all in BlackMesa outside of the corporate meaning, something tracked more stringently than marital status, and also absent from his profile. Is that a knock-on effect of Benry's weird feed nonexistence? No, because they show up in the crew logs as Security Consultant Benry, so they definitely do exist in records.
Did Dr. Coolatta lie to a Sales Manager in his office?
This Unit begins tracking which clients it has the most respect for and puts Dr. Coolatta in second place, behind the mechanic. It scans the other crew members, and is rewarded with normal fucking profiles.
HumanThree = Dr. Darnold, fem/fem, BlackMesa.
BotTwo = Sunkist, The Perfect Dog.
...one normal profile. This Unit doesn't think that's what dogs look like.
Security Consultant Benry is sprinting toward Dr. Coolatta and This Unit.
Governor Module: Violence between clients discouraged.
This Unit: Security Consultant Benry, violence betw-
Dr. Coolatta: Hi!
Dr. Coolatta is beaming, opening his arms wide and doing nothing to prevent the bullet train of an augmented human set to run him over. So, this is just a thing for these two. This Unit relaxes back to standing guard, watching as Security Consultant Benry barrels into Dr. Coolatta and the two topple to the ground in a heap.
Governor Module: Violence between clients discouraged.
This Unit does not flinch.
Dr. Coolatta: Hi. Um, this is- this is our assigned SecUnit! SecUnit, do you have- is, is your feed scan working, or should I- is it enough to? Identify us?
This Unit: This Unit has positively identified three of seven crew members.
Security Consultant Benry, still pinning Dr. Coolatta to the floor, tilts their head up just enough to be getting a good view of This Unit's boots. Maybe. It's hard to tell what they can see when half of their face is covered by stark shadow. (The other half is much paler than the human average, and the harsh dock lighting allows This Unit to see thin blue veins running just below the surface of their skin. They look ill. This Unit can find no other physical indication of sickness, but begins to pull data on routine protocol for injured/otherwise unwell clients just in case.) Dr. Coolatta's smile is dimming, though not yet a frown.
Security Consultant Benry: Yo, why's your info shit?
This Unit: JustEnt. V supplies the highest quality briefi-
Security Consultant Benry: Don't even know how many clients you got? Huh?
This Unit's helmet is opaqued, meaning all other tension in its body is observable. This Unit grits its teeth for .06 seconds to relieve stress and deletes all of the wellness data it just pulled.
This Unit: Please apply any updates directly to Security System; This Unit will downl-
Security Consultant Benry unfolds themself back to a standing position more fluidly than their size and stature would suggest is natural. Analysis: NULL. Conclusion: Security Consultant Benry is difficult to read and This Unit has not yet had the practice to determine their specific micro-expressions. This Unit really doesn't want to practice anything with this person.
Security Consultant Benry: SecUnit can't count?
Bot: Ping
This Unit: Acknowledge
Bot: HE'S SHOWING OFF, DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
This Unit: It feels pretty fucking personal!
Bot: …HE MIGHT ALSO BE JEALOUS THAT YOU'RE CLEARED TO BE SECURITY AND HE'S NOT
This Unit: This Unit is functioning within expected parameters. All syst-
Security Consultant Benry: Parameters expected you to fuck up counting?
Governor Module: Violence towards clients discouraged.
This Unit: Yeah, you're gonna have to send that one a lot.
Dr. Darnold hesitantly reaches out a hand to help Dr. Coolatta, who takes it with a thin smile as he gets to his feet. Analysis: [appreciation] [strain] Conclusion: Insufficient data. There is no indication of physical distress. Query: What is Dr. Coolatta strained by?
Dr. Coolatta: SecUnit?
This Unit: Yes, Dr. Coolatta?
Dr. Coolatta: Who do you have registered as crew?
This Unit: Dr. Tomorrow Coolatta, survey leader, molecular biologist/bioengineer. Dr. Idea Darnold, analytical chemist. Harold Coomer, pilot of the Bombast. Handler Jefferem Laurey, redundancy. Security Consultant Benry, redundancy. Junior Engineer Forzen, mechanic. Junior Communications Officer Vissien, redundancy.
Dr. Coolatta: Oh, it's just… they only added the, they only added organics. Can you- SecUnit, please add Sunkist and the- add-
Dr. Coolatta looks at Bot. Analysis: [query] [alarm] Conclusion: something is weird with Bot's name and he wants permission to share it. This Unit wonders if he'll care about its opinions that much.
Bot: Bubby.
Bot = Bubby
It. Wait, Bot =
This Unit: BUBBY?
Bubby: BUBBY!
This Unit: That is !not! your name.
Bubby: JUST REMEMBER THAT I CAN LOCK YOU IN CARGO WITH BENRY WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE
Dr. Coolatta: -Bubby to the, add them both to the crew registry.
Direct order; This Unit adds Sunkist and Bubby (Bubby!?) to its internal crew registry as secondary clients.
Sunkist: Ping.
Scanning:
Malware - N
Killware - N
This Unit: Acknowledge
Sunkist: Query: ID?
This Unit: [feedID]
Sunkist: Query: Personal ID?
This Unit: NULL
Sunkist: emotionsignifier_sad031
This Unit doesn't turn to stare at it, but only just. There's no echo of emotion like with Bubby- it's a relatively simple bot, and when This Unit pushes aside its basic firewall to get better information on it, Sunkist just kinda… lets it do that. No alert to its owners or the other bot, no feelings about having its privacy invaded. All it does about getting a fucking SecUnit in its brain is partition the clients' sensitive data. Not even behind a firewall! Just! It just puts it all in a folder and labels it with the signifier of a lock! This Unit can't believe it thinks that counts as security, but as it scans Sunkist, it realizes that everything it's interacted with has respected that sort of thing. Sunkist hasn't ever been ordered to give up data it didn't want to give up, never been wormed into without being told prior. "Sunkist" isn't a rough human translation of a feedID or a mangled version of its make or model, either- the bot's called Sunkist because of an inside joke with the crew of the Bombast.
Sunkist thinks that bots count as part of the crew.
Sunkist thinks This Unit is supposed to have a name.
(This Unit's performance reliability is dropping. This Unit conducts a purge of organic chemicals. This Unit stops thinking about being named and considered crew and listened to and being fucking socialized with and This Unit stops fucking thinking about it.)
Bubby: We're good to go, Tommy?
Dr. Coolatta: Yep! We just need to- all we have to, we have to load the cargo, and then we can get back to y- we can, and then we'll get back on Bombast.
Dr. Darnold: Isn't-? Didn't we load the cargo? Already..?
Security Consultant Benry: SecUnit's cargo.
Dr. Darnold's eyes flick to This Unit, lips pressing together and eyes widening. Analysis: [irritation] [discomfort] Conclusion: Dr. Darnold thought This Unit would be accompanying him and the rest of the crew into the human quarters of the ship. Conclusion: Dr. Darnold doesn't want to load any more cargo.
Dr. Darnold: I don't know if it's going to fit with the cargo. The company kinda filled us up with a whole buncha equipment already, and Benry's not very good at Tetris.
Security Consultant Benry: Symmetristry.
This Unit ignores him. This Unit is pleased to note that Doctors Darnold and Coolatta also ignore him.
This Unit: This Unit is highly compactible, and will fit into the JustEnt. V assigned Cubicle already present in the Oculus' storage compartment.
Security Consultant Benry: Yeah just fold up! Balled unit. Bald- gonna- we uhhhhh we're gonna. Roll the plank, ballboy.
Analysis: NULL. Conclusion: This fucker is just saying shit. Dr. Darnold has turned to stare at him, eyebrows pinched together and slowly raising as more garbage syllables spill out of Security Consultant Benry's garbage mouth. Analysis: [confusion] Conclusion: Dr. Darnold doesn't have any idea what Security Consultant Benry is saying either, and moves higher on This Unit's respect tier list.
Bubby: We'll just roll him up the ladder like a barrel!
Dr. Darnold: …I'll go open up the hatch and hope nothing falls back out.
This Unit watches Dr. Darnold make her way to the requisite panel. This Unit has questions about the interaction it was just (arguably) a part of, and SecUnits do not ask their clients questions. This Unit is Rogue, and its feed conversations are no longer being monitored. This Unit doesn't even know where the fuck to start asking questions about what just happened.
This Unit: Query?
Bubby: ABOUT WHAT? YOU'RE HIGH-ISH FUNCTION, USE YOUR BIG BOY WORDS
This Unit: Query: human gender application?
Bubby: YOU'RE BEING AN ASS ON PURPOSE
This Unit: Acknowledge.
BOMBASTCREW_USING_GENDER_AS_ENDEARMENT.mp4 is available! Download?
[Y/N]
Scanning:
Malware - N
Killware - N
[N]
Bubby: OK, FINE, CONSTRUCT ONLY PRONOUNS FOR THE LITTLE SHITBABY
The process of getting on board isn't actually that undignified, no matter what Security Consultant Benry's jeering suggests. This Unit has functioning legs and a homing device under the skin of its right arm, so it has no trouble finding the paired tracker. When wedging itself between haphazard stacks of terraforming and survey equipment (and an impressive amount of schlocky souvenirs from on-station) to slot itself into the Cubicle, however, This Unit does have a little trouble. Just a bit. SecUnit standard configuration is not designed for ease of motion through crowded storage bays, and This Unit is of standard configuration. This Unit finds no differences in its physical dimensions from before its programming was altered, so the programming must be what is altering its perceptions of its frame. This Unit feels too small for its body, too big for the space around it. This Unit crouches to avoid scratching the ceiling and knocks against the too-wide piling of figurines and fabric and has to contort itself to catch the more fragile items before they can crash against the floor.
This Unit folds itself into the Cubicle. (Analysis: [relief] [claustrophobia] Conclusion: NULL.) kayfabe.exe frantically asserts itself as soon as data collection begins, and This Unit snatches at the outgoing information to carve away pieces of it and force Oculus' SecSystem to "accidentally" delete anything incriminating from This Unit's automatic report.
espunit_diagnostics_002.docx stored for future access.
Governor Module: Dead
Cameras: Live
Microphones: Live
Feed Access: Live
Weapons: Live
Location: JustEnt. V standard Cubicle, onboard the Oculus.
This Unit feels the Oculus' engine start and the ship hums beneath and around and inside of This Unit's frame.
Dr. Darnold: SecUnit, did anything fall over in there?
This Unit: storagecabin.nsv
Dr. Darnold takes several seconds to review the footage, and then several more to understand that This Unit is inside the Cubicle and can't see anything outside of it, but camera access is readily available to everybody on this ship. Sure, This Unit can pull it up faster, but routing camera inquiries through it instead of just using the data pad to look is really inefficient. Dr. Darnold moves down a tier.
Dr. Darnold: Ah. Hmm.
Dr. Darnold: I suppose. You can go back to staring at that wall, if you wanna. Thank you.
SecUnit: Acknowledged, Dr. Darnold.
Dr. Darnold's feed interface is put back to sleep, presumably as he asks somebody else in the cabin to pull up camera data for him. (He thanked This Unit. Is this the first time Dr. Darnold has ever been on a job with a SecUnit?)
This Unit conducts a search through the attached client data.
This is the first time any of them have been on a job with a SecUnit, except the mechanic and the redundancies, who have obviously worked with Security and ComfortUnits to some degree. If Forzen and Vissien are juniors from JustEnt. V, probably mostly ComfortUnits. No clue about Laurey, but "handler" suggests he works or used to work with Combat SecUnits to enough of an extent that his official title reflects it. This Unit would check in further detail, but it doesn't really care, and also? While digitally thumbing through personnel files, it can't find any for Security Consultant Benry. BlackMesa employees typically have two names, but all it can find is Benry. It also finds his first mission: two CR-standard years ago, with Dr. Coolatta, providing security for him on a trip to a company called GeoCase's central hub of operations. GeoCase itself comes up blank. Anything Security Consultant Benry did before then comes up blank. Any sort of personal inquiry afterwards also comes up blank. The mission reports are so bland and basic that they may as well have been written by another SecUnit. Security Consultant Benry is a dead end.
This Unit conducts a thorough analysis of Dr. Coolatta's history and finds that he was originally from a small farming planet owned by GeoCase. He was (and is, considering it can't find any adoption filing) an orphan who was granted scholastic leave and then never went back, except for the one trip which required extra security to be summoned out of thin air. This Unit finds nothing else of note, or of explanation, or of any use at all. It cannot, no matter how many different key terms or data refining techniques it cycles through, find anything else owned by GeoCase. Dr. Tomorrow Coolatta is a dead end.
This Unit gives up on that and moves on to the other crew members. Dr. Idea Darnold has a normal history, with the exception of a degree in Mixology. The thesis presented doesn't match up to the dictionary-standard definitions of mixing alcoholic drinks, nor does the University she attended award doctorates for mixing drinks. It is not a culinary school at all. There are multiple papers, peer-reviewed and made without the assistance of generative software, that Dr. Darnold has co-authored or published. There are multiple NDA violations that have, inexplicably, had very mild consequences enforced. This Unit can't find any examples of Dr. Darnold's pay being docked, or of her being fired or demoted or working under extended contract for one of BlackMesa's many planetary investments. That's weird, but maybe the Mixology degree accounts for it..? It's probably not actually Mixology, and instead some obscure, local-to-BlackMesa word and This Unit is having a translation software error. This Unit moves on.
Handler Jefferem Laurey was hired by BlackMesa two CR-standard years ago as part of a community service for anger management, with no data prior to his sentence. He directs Combat SecUnits. He will act as forcible decommission for This Unit if it deviates from standard. This Unit moves on.
Pilot Harold Coomer has a normal history, as well, except for the part where he used to be part of a BlackMesa paramilitary death squad and then managed to get out of it, only to be shuffled off into decoding something (there are a lot of redacted items, as well as annoying, automatically-triggered audio files that play on loop if This Unit attempts to access anything it isn't supposed to) and then shuffled into the pilot seat of the Bombast.
The Bombast, before being condemned to automation and a less-than-skeleton crew, killed every single full crew it was given in unforeseen, unfortunate, completely unpreventable accidents. Usually flammable ones. It suffered a wire malfunction that killed two and injured seven, a docking error that killed twenty-two and injured thirteen, a life support malfunction that killed thirty-five, and then a fuel leak/wire malfunction combination that killed thirty-five. Less than 30% of the ship is still the original material and design, having the other approximate 76% burned or exploded beyond repair.
This Unit is rapidly approaching its own dead end.
This Unit enters standby mode for the duration of the transfer to the Bombast.
Good Night, EspUnit.
Good Morning, EspUnit!
Initializing...
Time Since Shutdown: 17 hours
Governor Module: Dead
Cameras: Live
Microphones: Live
Feed Access: Live
Weapons: Live
Location: JustEnt. V standard Cubicle, onboard the Bombast.
This Unit has a small backlog of feed messages.
Bubby: YOUR CUBICLE IS FUCKING HEAVY
Dr. Darnold: Don't try to access Bombast's SecSys yet, we need to make sure you're compatible.
Pilot Coomer: salutation
This Unit's performance reliability is at 90% and declining. This Unit performs a routine diagnostic and finds nothing out of the ordinary except for kayfabe.exe, which it leaves where it is. espunit_diagnostics_003.docx stored for future access. This Unit's performance reliability drops to 84% and then stabilizes. Okay. That's- that should be fine, it can work with above seventy. When reliability percentages hit the sixties, This Unit will start to be concerned, but it can't afford to be anything but a good non-Rogue Unit until then. It tells data collection that performance reliability is at 98% and stable.
Governor Module: Falsifying diagnostic data discouraged.
Governor Module: Ignoring salutation discouraged.
This Unit doesn't flinch.
This Unit: Hello, Pilot Coomer.
This Unit: Acknowledged, Dr. Darnold.
This Unit: Fuck off, Bubby.
There is, for a bot, a very long pause before This Unit receives a response from Bubby.
Bubby: BLAME SUNKIST, HE'S THE ONE WHO ACTUALLY HAD TO HAUL EVERYTHING ONTO BOMBAST. COMPLAINED THE WHOLE TIME! WHAT A LITTLE BITCH!
Bubby: YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO ACCESS THOSE CAMERAS NOW, BY THE WAY
This Unit: Are you
This Unit: How did you read Dr. Darnold's feed message?
Bubby: I'M !VERY! INTELLIGENT
This Unit taps the feed, part acknowledgement and part refusal to dignify that with words, and requests access from Bombast's SecSys. This Unit receives full vision of every hallway in the transport (though not in the bunks), multiple points of audio from microphones apparently connected to a PA system (also not the ones in the bunks), and a small dossier on the crew of this survey. This Unit scans it for malware, killware, and then downloads it for perusal.
- COOMER: ALLOWED IN THE CABIN ALONE. HAS TO SUPERVISE ANYBODY ELSE BEING IN THE CABIN
- DARNOLD: DOESN'T LIKE BEING SUPERVISED IN THE LAB OR HELPFUL "BACKSEAT EXPERIMENTING" TIPS
- TOMMY: A MERE CHILD!! TERRIBLE LISTENER, BAD TRIGGER DISCIPLINE, DECENT AT DEALING WITH CORPORATES
- SUNKIST: THE PERFECT DOG
- BENRY: BEST AT DEALING WITH HOSTILES, WORST AT DESIGNATING HOSTILES
- JEFFEREM: CONSTANTLY HOSTILE AND MAKES STUPID JOKES THAT AREN'T FUNNY
- SIMON: IDIOT BITCH BABY
- JOSCHTUL: IDIOT BITCH BABY
- SECUNIT: IDIOT BITCH BABY
This Unit: Hey, new query: how much access to SecSys do !you! have? Why the fuck can you edit Bombast's crew logs?
Bubby: WHO SAID I EDITED THEM?
This Unit: BM_SURVEY.docx
Bubby: GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE, I GUESS!
This Unit: Bot pilots don't have "minds" to "think" with!
Bubby: WELL, THAT'S VERY RUDE!
Bubby: I'D CALL YOU AN IDIOT BITCH BABY TOO IF YOU WERE THAT MEAN TO ME
This Unit: You !did! call me that!
Bubby: WELL IT WAS PROBABLY AFTER YOU WERE MEAN TO ME
This Unit double-checks the data packets containing info on the JustEnt. V employees. Junior Engineer Forzen has worked for JustEnt. V since childhood, filling out crowd scenes in small-risk and low-reward media, assisting with construction of lighting and audio equipment, being in the studio audience of live review shows. Around the time JustEnt. V acquired This Unit's manufacturing company, Jr. Mechanic Forzen was officially hired as an unpaid intern and began training for the disassembly of inoperable Units. (This Unit finds pictures included. This Unit moves on without downloading any of them.)
Junior Communications Officer Vissien has worked for JustEnt. V since childhood, mostly in use as a voice-over or text-to-speech template for commercials or advertisements. He was officially hired as a paid intern (oh, wow, good for him!) when his elder sibling died in a hostile fauna event, after their uncle vanished in space. (Oh, wow, less good for him.) This Unit marks Jr. Comms Vissien as a potential ally in the espionage section of its mission and then submits an edit to the dossier. Bombast takes much longer than a bot pilot should before accepting it, but This Unit figures it's not a very advanced bot pilot if it takes its cues from Bubby without excess prompting. It resends the updated dossier. The only changes are at the bottom:
- FORZEN/VISSIEN: CORPORATE BITCH BABIES
- SECUNIT: CORPORATE BITCH BABY, MORE DATA REQUIRED
This Unit pointedly bleeds frustration into the feed conversation with Bubby. Bubby taps it, smug. Fine. Whatever, the pet bot can just edit information that the Bombast has, that's definitely not a security concern or anything.
Pilot Coomer: salutation
This Unit: Hello, Pilot Coomer.
This Unit attempts to further access SecSys and is thoroughly walled off. Okay, so, maybe Bombast isn't completely compatible with This Unit's systems after all? This Unit has nearly-full visual and audio input, so that's… it's not nothing. This Unit can manage to keep its clients safe with that, at least as long as they're on board. Once the habitat is deployed, This Unit will be much more comfortable with the systems and with the full range of data available to it, so. Just gotta hold out until then, SecUnit.
Dr. Coolatta: Did you want to come up here to the cabin with everybody?
Pilot Coomer: salutation
This Unit: Hello, Pilot Coomer.
This Unit is Rogue. Dr. Coolatta knows that This Unit is Rogue, as does Bubby. Presumably the rest of the survey crew will be brought in on this fact, though hopefully Handler Laurey and Forzen will not be.
This Unit: This Unit is capable of monitoring clients' security from inside the JustEnt. V provided Cubicle.
Dr. Coolatta: Okay. But do you wanna-
Dr. Coolatta: Do you !want! to come to the cabin with everybody else?
Analysis: [curiosity] [sincerity] Conclusion: Dr. Coolatta is attempting to understand This Unit's comfort levels, and is well-versed enough in construct communication to imitate standard emphasis methods. Dr. Coolatta is attempting to put This Unit at ease. It's weird. SecUnits don't have feelings or anxiety or anything, what a- what kind of fucking freak worries about speaking to them in an approximation of their own standard?
Dr. Coolatta: I won't tell.
Keep kayfabe.exe at the forefront here, SecUnit, don't- don't fuck it up now. Don't worry about any of that. This Unit is Rogue. This Unit is supposed to have been Rogue for a long fucking time, so it makes sense that getting on its good side would be important for a client in close quarters with it. A SecUnit that had been Rogue for longer than This Unit would be… lonely, right? Constantly talked at instead of to? Ordered around and ignored and never thanked for fucking anything? A Rogue SecUnit would want companionship.
This Unit: It would be easier to interfere with potential threats to the clients if This Unit was physically present.
Dr. Coolatta: Okay! Sunkist can send you a map emotionsignifier_happy09
This Unit has to wade back out through the piles and piles of shit that the humans have collected, but it doesn't knock anything over this time. Sunnkist sends a (partially redacted, for some reason) map of the Bombast's layout and schematics to its hard feed ID, and This Unit easily finds its clients thanks to both that and the ongoing visual data from Bombast's cameras. Also thanks to the effectively constant pinging from Pilot Coomer, who seems to have a button that's solely for making salutations and not anything else for actively communicating via the feed, and just keeps fucking hammering that thing. This Unit makes itself a program to automatically return all salutations from Pilot Coomer so it can backburner their "conversation" and focus on actual conversations it may need to have.
Governor Module: Editing company software without orders discouraged.
This Unit's actual literal brain counts as company software. That's- cool, great, This Unit loves to think about that.
Security Consultant Benry: Hey you allowed in here?
This Unit isn't technically "in" anywhere except the Bombast, and that's an inevitability of the contract. This Unit is heading into the cabin where cameras and feed scans indicate the rest of its clients are stationed, but Security Consultant Benry is standing right outside those doors and is just. Putting up a hand at about chest-height, like that's actually enough to stop This Unit from progressing past him. It has to be, because SecUnits aren't allowed to harm or otherwise come into contact with clients outside of emergency scenarios, but This Unit is Rogue.
This Unit stops before coming into contact.
This Unit: This Unit can more easily interfere w-
Security Consultant Benry: Yo you-
Security Consultant Benry: Hey you can't… interfere with shit we got ummm we got important data banks and servers and shit man don't interfere w-
Security Consultant Benry: You want us to crash? Huh? You- you want me dead?
This Unit cannot dignify him with a response to the question.
Governor Module: Violence towards clients discouraged.
This Unit: This Unit has been deployed to keep members of BlackMesa XEN Survey Group safe.
Security Consultant Benry: Mmmmmmnnnnnmnm. Can I see your credentials?
This Unit's credentials? Why does he need- what, like its feedID? Humans can't parse that the way constructs or bots can, even if they do have a feed augment, which- hang on, does Security Consultant Benry have a feed augment? He must, right? Security Consultant Benry is on the logs as an augmented human, and there isn't anything visibly inorganic when he's wearing his crew uniform. It must be an internal augment. Conducting another (more in-depth) scan, This Unit still doesn't get any usable data on him. Maybe the augment is something that causes analyses to come up NULL and that's a mechanical part that's gotten popular since This Unit's last database update. This Unit keeps getting that result with Bubby, too. Just in case, This Unit attempts to make a direct feed connection and sends him the contract, since that's about as close to credentials that This Unit can give him without just grabbing his face and physically making him look at the company logos in its chest.
This Unit: BlackMesaXENSurvey_Contract.docx
Governor Module: FEED CONNECTION DISCOURAGED.
kayfabe.exe demands that This Unit doesn't flinch.
Security Consultant Benry: Mmmyeah I gotta get the captain. On this one I'm gonna need to- I dunno if you're allowed in there.
Security Consultant Benry didn't even get the message. What the fuck was that? What the fuck was-! This Unit hasn't- This Unit doesn't remember having such a strong discouragement from the Governor Module fucking ever, what the hell was that about? The door slides open and another augmented human is standing on the other side, beaming. This Unit conducts an immediate feed scan and reclassifies AugHumanTwo = Pilot Coomer, masc/masc, BlackMesa.
Pilot Coomer: Hello, Babble! I understand you need assist- ah, hello, SecUnit!
Security Consultant Benry: Yo, you know him?
Governor Module: Ignoring salutation discouraged.
This Unit: Hello, Pilot Coomer.
Pilot Coomer: I've never seen this construct before in my life!
Security Consultant Benry: Is he allowed? Can he do that?
Pilot Coomer: I've never seen most constructs before in my life, Babka!
The two stare at each other wordlessly. They're not even having a feed conversation! They're just staring.
This Unit thinks it might hate this job.
Security Consultant Benry: (simultaneously) Huh?
Pilot Coomer: (simultaneously) Now, SecUnit, let's get you into the Chamber with the rest of us! You're welcome to join, Baboon!
Security Consultant Benry responds to this name much the same way he has responded to every other thing said to him: not much. This Unit has to respond when spoken to regardless of whether it's been addressed correctly or not, but that's because it's a SecUnit and not responding is a punishable offense. Also, This Unit doesn't have a correct name to respond to. It has a designation. Maybe a designation and then a number, if it's on a contract with other SecUnits, but it still responds. It's like Security Consultant Benry isn't conscious unless being directly spoken to, whether he's addressed correctly or not.
Security Consultant Benry: Whuh..?
Pilot Coomer takes a step back from the door and gestures for This Unit to follow him through it. It's not a direct order, but Dr. Coolatta is expecting This Unit's presence in the cabin. The- wait, did Pilot Coomer call it the Chamber? What the fuck is up with that?
Bubby: Damn, it didn't get lost.
Bubby: I mean, good, you made it.
This Unit surveys the room with the assistance of the security cameras placed in various corners. The entire BlackMesa crew, as well as AugHumanFour = Junior Communications Officer Vissien, X, JustEnt. V are present. Dr. Coolatta, Dr. Darnold, Sunkist and Jr. Comms Vissien are standing near the console, with the doctors discussing something on Bombast's scanners while Sunkist monitors the feed and Jr. Comms Vissien fails to break into the conversation. AugHumanThree = Handler Laurey, masc/non, BlackMesa leans on the back of what must be Pilot Coomer's chair, drumming his fingers against the metal frame where it isn't padded out with fabric. Bubby taps This Unit in the feed, prompting a verbal response.
This Unit: This Unit was provided a map by Sunkist, and is capable of navigating even without direct assistance.
Bubby: Can the Unit talk in first person?
This Unit should not glare at it in the presence of another JustEnt. V employee and Handler Laurey. It implies a vice grip through their private feed connection, which Bubby doesn't react to because it's a smug shithead.
This Unit: Yes.
Bubby: Do that, then! It's weird hearing you talk about yourself.
Handler Laurey stops his rhythmic tapping to ball up his fist, looking over at the humanform bot with (Analysis: [exasperation] [warning] Conclusion: ) a long-suffering expression on his face. He manually activates a feed-attuned speaker settled in his clavicle, which looks like an earlier model than the one that he rejected out of hand because he didn't want to make his monitoring any easier on AugHumanOne: Stand down. TargetThree: Get the-! HumanOne: Damnit, Gordon, you can't-!
Governor Module: Organic purge required.
This Unit doesn't flinch.
Distorted audio/visual data is converted to wtf.yuv and moved to a secure folder alongside kayfabe.exe and archived logs of This Unit's feed conversations. This Unit doesn't- it can figure out what that was later. Who those voices were. It doesn't have to conduct a purge on itself in the middle of a fucking contract, holy shit, maybe it should look up SecUnit turnover rates from JustEnt. V if that's the kind of failsafe they have in place. This Unit forcibly rewinds the past few seconds of cabin.nsv to catch itself up to speed on what the strange data packet made it miss.
Handler Laurey: Already fuckin' with the corporate, B?
Pilot Coomer: Now, Jefferem, it's important to practice good manners with new team members! For example: Hello, SecUnit! It's wonderful to meet you!
This Unit: Hello, Pilot Coomer.
Oh, good, This Unit's buffer still works. It should probably put some effort into responding to the other sentence, now. It hasn't been long enough for any of the humans to have noticed the processing gap, and Sunkist is probably preoccupied with the feed.
This Unit: This
Governor Module: Disobeying direct orders from clients discouraged.
This Unit: I will be protecting you and your group on this survey.
Pilot Coomer beams at it. Analysis: [pride] [friendliness] Conclusion: Pilot Coomer thinks This Unit is doing well as a conversational partner. (If This Unit were actually Rogue, and actually lonely, then it would immediately designate Pilot Coomer as a primary client. It's not lonely, obviously, because it's only been Rogue for a couple of hours, so all it does is bump Pilot Coomer up in the tier list.)
Dr. Coolatta hands Dr. Darnold the feed interface, and he sucks his teeth at whatever is on the screen. Jr. Comms Vissien leans over his shoulder and points to something, whatever. This Unit keeps monitoring them but shifts more of its focus to Dr. Coolatta as she approaches it and Pilot Coomer.
Dr. Coolatta: We're almost done waiting for the Habitat to finish, so um… Benry said to, that we should wake you up to let you scan it first!
This Unit: SecUnits must scan the terrain and establish functional connection to Hub- and SecSystems prior to allowing clients access, according to standard procedure.
Dr. Coolatta smiles. Analysis: [amusement] [fondness] Conclusion: This Unit is
Dr. Coolatta: Yeah. He, uh, Benry knows all the SecUnit procedures!
Governor Module: Incorrect conclusions discouraged. Behavior Interpreter update required.
Conclusion: She's thinking about Security Consultant Benry. She thinks he's funny and she's fond of him. This Unit doesn't know why, but maybe being stuck with him for multiple CR-standard years allowed him to ingratiate himself to her. Like a tapeworm. Pilot Coomer puts a hand on This Unit's shoulder and This Unit shouldn't flinch because a normal SecUnit wouldn't flinch but kayfabe.exe gave it automatic motion and it's small enough that humans won't notice it, but This Unit does and checks that Handler Laurey isn't looking at it with Analysis: [boredom] Conclusion: he didn't notice but did Jr. Comms Vissien see anything because they're also augmented internally so what if one of those augments is a processor Analysis: [concern] [admiration] Conclusion: no, they're too wrapped up in listening to Dr. Darnold and whatever's going wrong on those data screens so This Unit forces itself not to freeze rock-solid because that's even more suspicious than a tiny, stupid little flinch.
This Unit stopped paying attention, again. Shit. This Unit replays cabin.nsv for itself.
Pilot Coomer: Standard Procedure for planetary survey missions accompanied by SecurityUnits vary depending on the planet's hazard rating, the company renting the SecurityUnit or SecurityUnits, henceforth referred to a
This Unit minimizes the replaying cabin.nsv as it focuses on the current stream, mostly to look at what exactly Dr. Darnold and Jr. Comms Vissien are talking about.
Dr. Darnold: Do you suppose organic matter would be subject to that same problem?
Jr. Comms Vissien: SecUnit's scans might be off, but the visuals should be fine.
Dr. Darnold: The- now, hold on a minute, how come the cameras wouldn't get garbled, too?
Handler Laurey flexes his fingers, extending them fully and then curling them into tense claws as he presses divots into the padding of the pilot chair and then into his own palm. Analysis: [boredom] Conclusion: Handler Laurey fidgets very slowly and deliberately. (It creeps This Unit out, a little bit. He looks mad as hell, even if its Interpreter just reads him as bored.)
Handler Laurey: Cameras would; eyes're organic.
Dr. Darnold's mouth pulls sideways as he turns to give Handler Laurey an [exasperated] look.
Dr. Darnold: Well, they've got organic parts to 'em, sure, but I- I know a camera when I see one, Jeff. How in the heck would we be getting data from them if they're just regular human eyes?
This Unit: All of Th
Governor Module: Disobeying direct orders from clients discouraged.
This Unit: my neurological data has digital sharing and live-streaming capabilities, with organic brain tissue only used for overflow.
Dr. Darnold jumped slightly when This Unit began to speak, and is now staring at it. Her mouth opens slightly, turning down at the corners as her eyelids push further into the overhang of her brow. Analysis: [shock] [disgust] [horror] Conclusion: Dr. Darnold has never worked with a SecUnit before, and is upset by discovering the differences in biology between a construct and an augmented human. Handler Laurey tilts his head toward This Unit in [smug] agreement.
Dr. Darnold: Hm.
Pilot Coomer: Are we touching down, yet?
Bubby: Not until the geological scans are confirmed, dummy. There's some kind of tech interference, and I don't want to crash because we thought a mountain was a flat plain.
This Unit is 78% certain that "dummy" was almost a different word. It was switched fast enough that This Unit couldn't hazard a guess as to which word it was originally, but knowing Bubby, probably "dumbass."
Pilot Coomer: I can aim for the mountains!
Bubby: Good thinking!
Bubby: Someone figure out the scanner issue before Coomer can get through the biolock I just put on the controls.
This Unit wonders if there's a way to biolock Bubby out of the Bombast. There certainly should be one automatically in place, since Bubby is a fucking pet bot which shouldn't have access to an entire transport's SecSys. Or any of its systems, honestly!
This Unit: !Why! can you biolock the controls.
Bubby: HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A LITTLE THING CALLED "LYING" FOR "FUN"
This Unit: I've never heard of a bot doing it! You're not even supposed to have coherent feed access, how the fuck can you !do! all of this?
Bubby: A GIRL NEVER KISSES AND TELLS!
Dr. Coolatta stops fidgeting with the buttons on his corporate uniform and clears his throat. All attention in the room turns to him. His expression is neutral but This Unit is certain that there is [strain] to keep it in place at the edges, indicative of stress. Query: why does he have to try so hard to keep himself together?
Dr. Coolatta: Okay, um, so we should- uh, SecUnit?
This Unit: Yes, Dr. Coolatta?
Dr. Coolatta: We're gonna, uh, we need to drop you and, and Vissien onto the planet. So you can send the- the scans from HubSystem back here to, back, back up to us on the ship.
Jr. Comms Vissien straightens abruptly from where they were looking at a data pad, eyes widening with [alarm].
Jr. Comms Vissien: I can't do it! I stay where the comms are!
Pilot Coomer: You'll just have to bring a radio, Joschtul, it's the only way.
Jr. Comms Vissien: But-!
If This Unit has a chance at a private conversation with Jr. Comms Vissien, it could get them on its side for the information gathering. They might even argue that it did such a good job that JustEnt. V won't decommission it when the survey is over.
This Unit: Protocol dictates that I cannot be further than 500 meters from a client at any given time without being decommissioned by my Governor Module.
Jr. Comms Vissien's shoulders sag in [defeat], [acceptance] as they look over at This Unit.
Jr. Comms Vissien: But… shouldn't S- um, Forzen come with?
Their voice is very thin. They sound [hopeful] and This Unit reviews protocol. A mechanic, handler, or security consultant is recommended to remain in close quarters if a Rogue Unit cannot be decommissioned successfully. Accessing the cameras in the mess, though-
This Unit: Jr. Mechanic Forzen is currently engaged in a staggered rest cycle. Estimated three cycles before sync with the remaining crew. Crew logs suggest that Handler Laurey or Security Consultant Benry would be suitable replacements.
...the buffer just went ahead and shared the rest of that info, huh? Just- just ruined This Unit's plans to get Jr. Comms Vissien alone. Fucking awesome.
Handler Laurey: I'll go. B, sign translation packet?
Bubby: What, now? There's like a whole cycle before we'll even be close enough to drop them!
Handler Laurey: Feed might be down. Gotta download it without tech issues.
Bubby: Oh, alright.
BM_SignTranslator.exe is available! Download?
[Y / N]
Scanning:
Malware - N
Killware - N
[Y]
This Unit reviews the executable and applies it almost immediately as Handler Laurey begins moving his hands through the air, his face wooden in a way that seems incompatible with sign language, but-
Handler Laurey: Good start?
Jr. Comms Vissien: Yep!
Does This Unit know sign language? Not BlackMesa Sign Language, obviously, but a different variant? One that required more facial expression? It reviews its downloaded files but can't find anything to indicate that it has ever seen a more expressive version of sign, but. The feeling stays. It logs the inconsistency and adds it to the folder with wtf.yuv and calls it a day because this is a mystery to solve later, if it's even a mystery at all and not just shitty company software.
Security Consultant Benry: Yeah me too please?
Bubby: You've already got the packet!
Security Consultant Benry: Yeah I wanna go to the planet, please? I wanna see?
This Unit: Security Procedure dictates-
Security Consultant Benry: Override? Override, thank you? Thank you?
He keeps getting louder as he speaks, talking over spaces that This Unit cannot fill with arguments even if it would not be immediately identified as Rogue for daring to argue.
This Unit: Improper Override code provided. Security Procedure dictates that only your assigned SecUnit and two humans in proper hazard gear may-
Security Consultant Benry: Yeah s'okay I'm-
Three different BlackMesa crew members subvocalize at once.
Security Consultant Benry: allowed. Allowing you to be there if you bring- I have to follow you, make sure you don't… steal.
This Unit stares at him. What could it steal? I-It's going down to a fucking barren planet to double check that the mapping systems are correct and that the habitat is active!